Attagirl!
by sQuIsHeDbRoCcOlLi
Summary: Yachiru embarks on a conquest to....rob everyone in seireitei of their candy. a bit of aizen OOC but that lasts all of 5 seconds, yeah. please review! i love reading and replying reviews, heh.


**yeah, yeah, me again. i dunno why i'm using the computer so much when i'm actually supposed to be studying for stuff like maths and history and geog and stuff, but...Yachiru-centric fic! yay! yeah, might be a bit strange or abrupt in places cuz i'm in a semi-study mode...and just to say that i don't own Bleach. **

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - **

'Ken-chan.'

'What.'

'I'm bored.'

'Whatever.'

'KEN-CHANN!!'

'Go play with Ikkaku.'

'Ok! Yay, where's pachinko?'

'How should I know? Go find him yourself.'

'Ken-chan!'

'What??'

'Help me find him.'

'No way.'

'Fine. I'll play with YOU.'

'No you won't.'

'Ken-chan why're you so mean?'

'Because I'm made that way.'

'Then why're you so big?'

'Dunno.'

'Then why d'you have bells in your hair?'

'Dunno.'

'Then how tall are you?'

'Dunno.'

'How much gel d'you use in one morning?'

'Dunno.'

'Ken-chan!'

'WHAT?'

'I'm bored.'

'Go play with someone who isn't me.'

A distant yelp was heard as the small girl sped off screaming something along the lines of "Let's Find Bya-kun"

- - - - - - - - - -

'BYA-KUN!!'

'Get. Out. Of. My. House.'

'WHY??'

'Get. Out.'

'BUT I WANNA PLAAAAAAAAY!!'

'Play somewhere else.'

'Bya-kun you're as mean as Ken-chan.'

'Whatever. Go away.'

'Bya-kun can I take some candy?'

'I don't HAVE candy. Go away.'

'OKAY! THANKS FOR THE CANDY!!'

The silhouette of the small girl stood outlined with dust as she ran away with every single edible item in the Kuchiki Manor, screaming for someone called Shun-shun.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Shun-shun! Shun-shun! Shun-shun! Shun-shun! Shun-shun!!'

'Hello Yachiru, whaddya want?'

'Pirates treasure.'

'Mmph I don't have any. Go see if anyone else has it.'

'NOOOO I WON'T. You're the only one who has the pirates' treasure.'

'And what makes you think so?'

'Cuz you got enough booty to buy all the booze.'

'Nonsense. Matsumoto buys booze too.'

'BUT Shun-shun! You buy MUCH MUCH MORE!!'

'How do you know?'

'Orange-hair does SOME work. I bet YOU plundered all the pirates, cuz I don't ever see you doing anythin' good.' The small fukutaichou pointed an accusatory finger at the horizontal figure on the roof that was surrounded by the by-products of pirate-ship plundering. After a moment of contemplation, she opened up her small palm and said, 'hand over the booty, and nobody gets hurt. ARR.'

'Oh really?'

'Really. Gar.'

'What if I gave you some Reese's peanut butter cups that I bought from the plundering?'

'OKAY! But where's the ships? I wanna do my OWN plundering.'

'Trade secret. Either you TAKE the peanut butter cups or you find the ships and get killed taking their booty.'

'Then why don't YOU get killed?'

'Cuz I'm better than you. Take the peanut butter cups and go.'

'Meanie.'

The minute figure jumped roof to roof, screaming her ponderings on whether the twelfth division made caramel.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Ne, ne, poo-face?'

'What is it? Don't call me that, you know I hate it.'

'Whatever, poo-face. Ya got any caramel? Sweet stuff?'

'No. why would I?'

'Cuz Bya-kun gave me everything in the house and Shun-shun gave me a whole bag of peanut butter cups!'

'And so…?'

'I'm here to PLUNDER! Shun-shun said there's pirates stuff to plunder round here somewhere! He's been plundering for eternity! I think you're hiding the pirates here. Hand over their booty.'

'Why do you think I'm hiding the pirates?'

'Cuz you got the poo-mask on, so I can't tell when you're lying. So I think the pirates are in your toilet. I wanna plunder them. Tell 'em I wanna take their peanut butter cups and all the lollipops and the juice and stuff they all got. I bet they keep it all in your chemicals cupboard. LEMME IN!!'

'LOOKLOOKLOOKLOOK I plundered them already, okay? Here's the biggest lollipop, now go away.'

'YAY!! POO-FACE WHERE CAN I PLUNDER SOME MORE??'

'Not in here. I plundered them all of their supplies for my chemistry experiments. Go away.'

'Oh, okay. THANKS FOR GIVING ME DA LOLLY!!'

The shrill voice faded off into the distance as the pink-haired natural disaster sped off into the depths of seireitei, screaming for soya beans.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Ninja-bean. I wanna somethin' ta eat. '

'Kusajishi-fukutaichou, I don't have anything for you to eat. Go away.'

'Meanie. Meanie. LEMME AT DA FOOD! I know you got heaps! Where else does booger-face get all the crackers from??'

'Look, I got no food, okay?'

'No wonder you look like a stick. Tell booger-face to teach ya some.'

'No thank you.'

'Got somethin' for me? Like…food?'

'I just said I don't have any food.'

'Then…any sweets? You gotta EAT somethin'…right?'

'Look, I don't know WHY you're doing this, but right now I don't have anything, okay? I just finished my lunch!'

'Then…HAND OVER THE DESSERT.'

'Rats.'

'GIVE IT OVER!!'

'But it's my—'

'GIMME DA DESSERT!!'

'Okay, okay, fine, take it!'

Yachiru caught a cat-shaped piece of dark chocolate, stuffing it into her shihakushou and rushing off to find more people to bully.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'SHIROUSHIROUSHIROUSHIROUSHIROUSHIROUSHIROUSHIROUUUU!!'

A window of the tenth division office broke as the highly hazardous pink explosive crashed through the thin pane of glass. A shard flew and hit a cup of tea, which cracked promptly into half, spilling its green contents onto stacks of paper. Oblivious, the explosive exploded.

'Ne, ne, ya got any candy? Food? Crackers?'

'No. Go away. And tell Kenpachi I want him to redo my paperwork.'

'Meanie. I bet if it were orange-hair she wouldn't care.'

'Tell him I want him to redo my paperwork'

'I want candy. Shun-shun gave me peanut butter cups, Bya-kun gave me HEAPS, Soya Bean gave me chocolate and Poo-Face gave me a twirl-pop!'

The person being addressed stood perplexed, attempting and failing to decipher the nicknames.

'Who…?'

'I just said it! Are ya DEAF? I said, Shun-shun, Bya-kun, Soya Bean AND Poo-Face have ALL been nice to me, and I don't see why you shouldn't!'

'I don't have anything for you. Go away. And tell Kenpachi I want him to redo all my paperwork.'

'No way. Tell 'im yourself. Gimme candy.'

'Tell Kenpachi.'

'Gimme candy.'

'Tell Kenpachi.'

'Gimme candy.'

'Shut up.'

'Gimme candy.'

'Fine, FINE! GO AWAY!!'

A wasabi-flavoured cracker hit the smallest figure in seireitei on the head, who was subsequently chased out by the murderous cry that went somewhere along the lines of GetOutYouIrritatingPinkLumpYou'reReallyAnnoyingYouKnowAndWhileYou'reAtItTellKenpachiThatIWantMyPaperworkRedoneByTomorrow.

So, she complied; to only half the order.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI UKI!!'

A miniature firework barrelled itself through the window at the long-haired sickly taichou. 'Uki-uki, ya got any candy for me?'

'Well…it WAS originally for someone else…but never mind! It's all for you. I can send Sentarou or Kiyone to get more someday.'

'YAY!! UKI-UKI YOU ROCK!! But…who was it for?'

'Ah, uh…my…um…partner in white-haired-ness.'

'REALLY??'

'Yeah, I give him an entire basket every other day. I haven't actually seen what he does with them though.'

'Did ya give 'im today? '

'Yeah.'

'That's funny…I asked him and all he gave me was this wasabi-cracker…I KNOW! LET'S SEARCH THE DUSTBIN!'

The nondescript dustbin at the back of the tenth division quarters quivered and wobbled ominously under the strain of a basket of candy, every single one untouched, uneaten, and unwanted.

'HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE MEEE!!'

Yachiru, on the other hand, couldn't care less.

'Don't matter. Means more for me, right?'

'Someone appreciates me…'

'YEAH!! LET'S GO FIND YAMA-JII!!'

The figure that left a trail of wreckages in her wake continued on toward the centre of seireitei, this time hollering for Yama-yama-jii.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A panel in the wall slid open to reveal the Old Bearded One's quarters. The deadly dynamite 109cm tall stood up and hollered 'YAMA-YAMA-JII!! YAMA-YAMA-JI!! WHERE ARE YA??'

An immense expression of shock covered the face of the leader of soul society as words of 100db were blasted into his face not more than ten centimetres away.

'Oh THERE YA ARE!! Why didn't ya tell me earlier? Got any candy?'

The still stunned and shell-shocked soutaichou nodded blankly.

'YAY!! Where? Where? Where? TELL ME!!'

The old figure of authority held up a large, bulging drawstring bag which was immediately snatched away from him, together with the buns and green tea sitting on a tray beside him. The tea and buns were devoured within five seconds, followed by a high-pitched 'GOCHISOUSAMAAAA!!', subsequently backed up by the dull thud of the wall panel being shut.

Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryuusai, leader of seireitei, wielder of the most powerful fire-type zanpakutou, person of utmost composure, sat at his tea-tray gibbering.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A gentle knock was heard at the door.

Obviously this was not Yachiru.

'Come in.'

The door of the fifth division quarters slid open and Hinamori stepped in. 'Uh…taichou…I, uh, could i…'

Busily reading a book, the bespectacled taichou waved his fukutaichou in. 'Yeah, yeah, come on in; make yourself at home, blablabla…whatever else nice things you want me to say…'

A tear welled up. 'Thank you…'

'NE NE FOUR-EYES??'

The thin figure of the fifth division fukutaichou was steamrollered into the floor as a vertically-challenged pink-haired being slammed into her.

'Oh…Bun-bun was here too…?'

'Ahem. Kusajishi-fukutaichou. You are here for what purpose…?'

'I WANT CANDY!!'

'Oh, um, I don't…happen to have any with me right now.'

'NONONONO I WANT IT NOW!!'

'I said, I don't HAVE any right now.' His voice grew stiff.

'I KNOW ya have some. I just KNOW it. EVERYONE has a secret stash somewhere. Even Bya-kun! So…where's the candy?'

'FINE! TAKE IT!' a sob was very obviously held back as a jar of rock candy flew towards Yachiru, which she caught with surprising accuracy. 'So my trip to Australia to get the rock candy was all…WASTED!!'

'It wasn't wasted, Four-eyes…'cuz I get to eat it! Jya ne!'

The little girl sped out of the door, trampling over the currently-regaining-consciousness-Hinamori once again, this time shrieking for Gin-gin.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Having broken the door to the third division quarters, Yachiru now sat atop Ichimaru Gin's desk.

'Ne, ne, Gin-gin, ya got any candy for me?'

'Candy…?'

'Ya know…sweet stuff…?'

'Mmph…gimme a moment.'

The silver-haired taichou wandered into his division's barracks and proceeded to ransack every duffel, locker and plastic bag until he found a packet of Yupi Gummies. He looked at the expiry date. 13th December. Not too bad…a few months till expiry…

Thirteenth December year 1890.

Oh well.

He came out stifling a yawn, holding out the single blue packet to the delighted squatting figure, who snatched it and, as protocol, stuffed it into her shihakushou.

She leapt off the desk and out of the window, breaking it in the process. 'TELLY-TUBBY!! TELLY-TUBBY!!'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Upon hearing his infamous nickname that was cooked up by a certain pink-haired assertive creature, Tousen Kaname made his way to the door of his division quarters. As usual, his sight failed him and he was hit smack-bang in the face by the hyperactive shinigami.

'Ne, ne, Telly-tubby, ya got any candy for me? Oh, and, since Bucket-head ain't in seireitei now, and you guys are best buds, could ya gimme some of his candy share too?'

'Mm.'

Ever-ready, the ninth division taichou pulled a tube of bubblegum from his shihakushou. He strolled calmly over to the seventh division quarters and demanded a share of candy from Iba, who willingly gave over a packet of dog biscuits to the unknowing Tousen, who gave the packaged happily to an unknowing Yachiru, who happily accepted them.

She peered at the dog biscuits.

'They look kinda weird….ne, Telly-tubby?'

'Uh…'

'OH YEAH!! YA CAN'T SEE!! I forgot. Never mind!'

'Uh…'

'JYA NE!!'

Without another word she bolted off, calling for Beardy-lady.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The large door to the fourth division medical quarters swung open and knocked a certain unsuspecting Hanatarou into the wall.

'BEARDY!! BEARDY!!'

A civilised and gentle voice answered back. 'What do you want, Kusajishi-fukutaichou?'

'Well…candy?'

'I'm sorry, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, but as the health centre, we do not keep sweets in our possession.'

'Oh…then…any crackers?'

Much to Iemura's horror, Unohana dug a box of Pocky out of his desk drawer and handed it reluctantly over to Yachiru.

'THANKS BEARDY!! Ne, ne, could I sit here and eat my lunch?'

'Um, uh, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, why don't you do it in the dining room?'

'I dunno…Ken-chan let's me eat wherever I wanna!'

Having said what she said, she sat on the floor and emptied her shihakushou of everything except herself.

'Kusajishi-fukutaichou, are you sure this is your lunch?'

'MMHMM!!'

And she devoured everything, including the dog biscuits.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Jigokuchou…?'

A frown plastered Kenpachi's face as the fluttering, glittering black moth hovered around his head in circles while relaying a message. He, who was originally headed for the bar, turned around and ran for the fourth division quarters.

The large door to the fourth division medical quarters swung open and knocked a certain Hanatarou who just managed to peel himself off the wall back to the drawing board.

He blasted open yet another door to see two tables. One with a dead-to-the-world Yachiru and another piled high with sweet wrappers.

'Uh…Unohana-taichou?'

'Kusajishi-fukutaichou has over-consumed.'

'And what did she eat?'

'Uh, six packets of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, a chocolate, a 30cm diameter Twirl Pop, a wasabi cracker, five pieces of original flavour bubblegum, a bottle of rock candy, assorted packets of gummies, hard candies, Sour Powers, Mentos, gummy-lollipops, three tea-buns, an entire teapot of tea, a box of Pocky, a whole packet of Jacob's Plain Crackers, four packets of Quaker's Granola Bites, a tube of Polo sweets, a tub of yoghurt, a box of cookies, 47 rabbit sweets and a 500g bag of dog biscuits.' (A/N: I'll leave you to figure out who gave what to Yachiru. All I'll say is that Yamamoto gave her the rabbit sweets)

'ATTA-GIRL!!'

Kenpachi punched the air at his fukutaichou's recent achievement of consuming something wasabi-tainted.

**END**

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**okay, i'm Singaporean, and in the recent melamine scare, the local food controlling organisation thing reported that if you really wanted to fall sick, assuming you're an average 60kg adult, you have to consume 850ml of strawberry milk, 47 rabbit sweets, and something else (i forgot, hehhehs) daily for a lifetime. so, yes. hence the reference to 47 rabbit sweets. **

**hope y'all enjoyed it! i had quite a lot of fun writing it. progress went kinda slow cuz it's exam period now, but once the end of october hits, i'm free! but it doesnt mean i don't get writer's block.  
this is actually the eleventh division fic i was planning when i wrote my previous story (just get out will you) but i ended up involving almost everyone due to my dramatic tendency to blow little things up into some kind of major happening, but it still managed to remain Yachiru-centric.  
any ideas for the next story? **


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